The Fast Food Industry's Most Questionable Creations

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KFC Famous Bowl (commercial image)
​A recent list of the fast food industry's 7 most heinous concoctions, offers up the recent KFC Double Down, as well as classics like the KFC Famous Bowl and Starbucks' Mocha Coconut Frappuccino as the worst fast-food creations of all time. While it's hard to dispute these items aren't a bit disturbing in their calorie content, we're calling "bullshit" on the idea that these are the worst items fast food has to offer.

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KFC Famous Bowl (harsh reality)
​There's no making excuses for a couple of the items on the list, but singling out The Krispy Kreme Doughnut Sundae when Baskin Robbins has a shake with 2,600 calories is just absurd. Ditto going after Hardee's Monster Thickburger when it's really only a biggity big ass hamburger. How do you decide that this burger is "heinous" while others get off scot-free? With the depth of ludicrous fast food items currently available, these items hardly seem like a huge deal. Though we're still totally with them on KFC's Famous Bowl being a pretty foul creation.

Free Chicken with One Small Catch...

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Get ready to humiliate yourself and eat for free this Friday. Fans of fast-food staple Chick-fil-A should take note that this Friday marks the fifth observance of Cow Appreciation Day, and the bovine supporting chain is going to be giving away a free combo meal to anyone dressed head to toe in cow attire. Less degrading costumes, such as a cow tie, scarf, or even just a cow themed shirt will still be rewarded with a free entree. However, for the full meal deal, get ready to cow-suit up!

For you non creative types, there's plenty of inspiration to be gleaned from CowAppreciationDay.com.

Screw You, Eco-Friendly Takeout Boxes

I don't care how eco-friendly these new takeout boxes are, they're ruining my freakin' food. The old boxes may someday turn Mother Earth into a styrofoam-laden wasteland, but you know what they didn't do? They didn't stick to my burritos, my sushi rolls, my teriyaki, my pasta, or my remotely edible food item that's placed inside of it. These new mulchy paper takeout boxes look like the recycled paper I made in elementary school, and I don't recall eating my Lunchable off the stuff.

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It never fails--I order something to go or ask for a box for my leftovers, receive the dreaded Food Ruining Sticky Box, take my food home, try to eat what's inside and spend the next fifteen minutes scraping food off the bottom of the box and trying to extract little strips of paper from my meal. These stupid things have unraveled sushi rolls, rendered the bottom layer of spaghetti inedible, leaked grease, and have single-handedly ruined the joy of sitting in front of the TV in my pajamas and stuffing my face with takeout. Screw you, eco-friendly takeout boxes. I'll see you in hell.

The Trend That Won't Die: Another 911 Call

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In the past four months, there have been 3 separate instances of people dialing 911 to complain about their fast food experience. Today we can finally bring the average back up to 1 incident per month. Earlier this week an Oregon man decided to abuse the emergency phone line when he was unhappy with the service and felt he'd been cheated out of an orange juice. Rather than attempting to settle the dispute in a rational fashion, he proceeded to block the drive-through lane and pound on the windows.

While this might be another example of how "the customer is always right" could be one of the dumbest concepts ever, it's also a prime example of why we need a national emergency telephone number specifically dedicated to resolving fast food related issues. Clearly there are more than a few people who would stand to benefit.

The Fast Food Chains Many of Us Are Missing Out On

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Yesterday the website Manolith.com featured a brief rundown of the top five regional drive-thrus. The list serves as a sad reminder that in various parts of the country people are suffering; forced to go without their Jack in the Box Ultimate Cheeseburger or their White Castle slyders while others go about their day taking these very same gut bombs for granted. And, since everyone covets the chain they can't have, we're left once again asking for a Sonic somewhere in the Seattle area. Sure, we've never been there, but the ads for those milk shakes are just so enticing we feel like we need to try it at least once.

In Cost Per Calorie, Junk Food Comes Through

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Plenty has been written about fast food stretching your dollar further than many of the healthier alternatives. And, although some people have gone to great lengths to prove you can eat healthy on a shoestring budget, the reality seems to be fast food is just plain easier.

A recent article by SmartMoney.com took a look at the overall cost per 100 calories for some of the top menu items available, and although Smart Money says the results are "surprising," it doesn't seem overly revelatory that a Big Mac gives you more bang for your buck than a grilled chicken salad. We've been saying the same thing for years, but were just too lazy to do the math.

Once Again, Nothing is Free

Oprah and KFC are giving away free chicken, but as was the case with Denny's Free Grand Slam Breakfast and the Ben and Jerry's Customer Appreciation Day, the amount of time required to cash in on the offer seems to more than negate the free food. If you're willing to wait an hour for a $5 meal, chances are you're not overly familiar with the concept of an opportunity cost.

As witnessed in the video below, the KFC promotions kickoff resulted in large numbers of people and ridiculous wait times for anyone hoping to cash in on their two pieces of grilled chicken, side dishes, and biscuit.

U.S. Wendy's Locations Need to Step Up Their Game

Wendy's has been cheating American customers. Sure, maybe it's not an unforgivable offense, but it's definitely a serious sin of omission on every U.S. menu. It seems that for some unknown reason, Wendy's chooses to only serve the bacon and cheese potato at select restaurants. And, sadly, those "select restaurants" require a trip north of the border.

The bacon and cheese potato is readily available throughout Canada, and while traveling to Vancouver this past weekend, Daily Fork's own Rebecca Kelley stopped in at a Wendy's to enjoy this Canadian exclusive. It's hard to say why Wendy's doesn't think this item would do well in the U.S., since cheese and bacon are two of the most beloved fast food menu items. However, it's a sad state of affairs when Canada becomes your travel destination for Cuban cigars, Tylenol with Codeine, and a Wendy's baked potato.

Let's step it up a notch, Wendy's. How about bringing us some bacon and cheese potato goodness on our side of the border?

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How is this not available in the U.S.?

The Disappointing Fast-Food Reality

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It's no huge secret that fast food ads don't exactly portray the reality of what you're being served. When you're ordering you gaze upon countless pictures of perfectly cooked and beautifully presented items, and what gets thrown in front of you ends up looking so dramatically different you can hardly call it the same item.

Well, the website This Piggy has done everyone a favor by compiling a list showing side-by-side comparisons of what is advertised and what is served. We'd say salads seem to fare the worst (and also the famous bowl), but you might as well take a look and judge for yourself.

Would-Be Burger King Robber Shot by Customer

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On Tuesday, an attempted robbery at a Burger King in Miami's Upper East Side turned fatal when a customer ended up in a shootout with the would-be robber. The Miami Herald reports:

"The robber entered wearing a ski mask. He approached a clerk, showed his gun and demanded money, said Miami police spokesman Jeff Giordano.

A customer eyed him and the two started arguing. The customer had a concealed-weapons permit and his gun -- and the two exchanged gunfire."

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene and the customer is currently in serious but stable condition at a nearby hospital.

Hot on the heels of the Chinese restaurant robbery brought to a screeching halt by the four cops enjoying dinner it seems like restaurant thievery has become a dangerous business. Moral of the story: don't rob restaurants. You could get shot.